Until very recently I was the kind of girl who loved having life planned out as far as I could see. I knew where I wanted to live, how many kids I wanted, what their names might be, what type of dog I’d have…and boyfriend agreed with those things, it seemed perfect.
Only now the idea of having so many specific goals seems so dull. Suppose I now fancy Los Angeles over Chicago. Boyfriend loves seasons and can’t imagine living somewhere without a “real” winter.
This is just one of the many little and a few huge things that have made me think about making some major changes lately…i.e. possibly becoming single again for the first time since I was 18. It freaks me out to be attached at such a turbulent time in my life. I don’t want to make decisions for anyone but myself. That may sound selfish but I’m 21, I don’t feel like I’m ready to settle and compromise just yet.
Of course though, as this isn’t a Disney movie, the plot thickens. Another catalyst to the whole maybe-not-this-boyfriend train of thought happens to be the boyfriend’s roommate…yikes. The social connections are worse still but I won’t get into those. Long story short: We hooked up freshman year in college, he was incredible but I convinced myself he was too similar to the recent ex-boyfriend and freaked…I see now that I didn’t give him enough of a chance to even show his true colors. Ergo, my heart jumps when I hear his voice and sinks when he parades in with his adorable girlfriend…
Alright, there it is, now if only I could figure out what’s best for me…
